


Contact

by dangergays



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, F/M, Frank is sad, M/M, gerard tries to help, i love jamia but shes unfortunately a sort-of antagonist here, old oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-24 21:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22004383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dangergays/pseuds/dangergays
Summary: After his and Jamia's divorce, Frank feels alienated by his kids.(warning: old one shot from 2015, hasn't been edited since then)
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Frank Iero/Jamia Nestor
Kudos: 21





	Contact

Frank didn't know what to do anymore, he had tried everything, but nothing seemed to work. He and Jamia had gotten a divorce a couple of years ago, right before he turned 30. Their last few years together had been turbulent and he felt like he didn't have any other choice but to leave. The breakup was brutal.

Frank had been so mentally and emotionally exhausted after the ordeal, that he decided to go back to New Jersey, leaving Jamia back in Florida with their teenage daughter and son, two amazing and wonderful kids that he loves very much. Frank wanted to keep the conflicts to a minimum, not fighting for custody, just letting Jamia do whatever she wanted to do. Which resulted in the cooperation between the two about the kids to grow more difficult. He had told Jamia from the very start that he would do whatever she thought was best for the kids, and he would help pay for as much as possible.

But things got worse. In the beginning, everything was fine. Difficult, but fine. Lily and Miles visited his new apartment in Jersey for a weekend every month, though after about a year, that started to change. First they wouldn't tell him how they were doing if he asked, and eventually their lack of replies evolved into telling him he was annoying and would sometimes follow up with "why are you asking me that, you don't even care." It still happened to this day.

It didn't take him long to figure out that Jamia had been telling Lily that Frank had been mean to her while they were together, and that he was sick. When Frank was 16 he had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and had to see a therapist for several years. He was well aware that his mental health in no shape or form affected his personality or the way he treated the people he loves. Yet, it led to Lily refusing to visit Frank anymore, scared and embarrassed of her "sick" father. Miles had continued for a few more years, before that ended too.

Frank had been told on several occasions by Jamia to not care about what his kids wanted or needed, to keep his nose out of their business. The sorrow and desperation Frank has felt has been so great that his life in longer periods has felt utterly unbearable. Some days he just barely makes it through the day, and at times it had been so hard that he wasn't sure if he'd even make it out alive. A few times this frustration had been expressed on accident around the kids, and of course it has been used against him, fueling everyone's belief that Frank is "sick".

But Frank wasn't worrying about himself at all, he never did. He was petrified of course, but only by the thought of how his kids, his own children were doing, what's going on with them at this very moment, and what they are learning from this. How they are being taught how to bury trust, instead of building it, how they are learning to lie, and learning to hate instead of to love.

No matter what he does, Frank can't seem to reach out to Lily and Miles. When he tries to tell them how he's doing and that he is thinking about them, he's told that he's stupid, evil and manipulative. If he just sends them short messages with love declarations, letting them know that he's here for them if they need him, he's spamming them and being controlling. He has been told that he only has himself to blame for his problems and mental health. He's being told that he's ruining the kids' lives and their education. He has been told multiple times that everything is his fault and that he deserves everything that's happened to him. Jamia has said to him that this is purely just the kids' opinions, and that this is only them not wanting to deal with Frank's issues.

Frank knows better, yet he feels powerless.

-

It had been one of many dark days, in his dreary, dark life, that Frank again, for probably the hundredth time, found himself on Mikey Way's old, battered couch. Mikey had inherited the house after his parents died shortly after each other, and his brother had fucked off to New York ages ago. Everyone had told Mikey to sell the god forsaken house, or at least tear it to the ground and build a new one, but he refused. Maybe he had a small hope that his parents had turned into ghosts after their departure from the living, and decided to haunt the house.

Frank had made his way to Mikey's place right after Jamia had called him, for probably the third time that month, just to yell at him for being "a pathetic excuse for a human being and a pain in the ass" for about five minutes before hanging up (Frank hadn't even gotten in a single word), and he didn't feel like spending yet another night alone. After sobbing into Mikey's shoulder for a good 15 minutes, and a few episodes of Firefly later, he was starting to feel a little better. He was way beyond the stage of being ashamed for crying into his best friend's shoulder at age 35.

"I don't understand why you ever married her in the first place." Mikey said when the third episode ended, Netflix telling them that the next episode would start in 10 seconds.

"I don't know I-... I guess I felt like I had to prove the people that say high school relationships never last wrong, y'know? Look how that went! Wasted 18-fucking-years of my life."

Mikey nodded, the next episode already starting and Frank was humming the intro, "I could tell from the start that you weren't happy with her."

"Honestly, I thought I was for a long time," Frank shifted uncomfortably on the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest, "can we not talk about this right now?"

"Yeah." Mikey went to turn up the volume again.

-

Mikey had offered Frank to stay and he had accepted right away, not ready to head back home to his dark, cold, depressing apartment quite yet. He had managed to grab his toothbrush before leaving his home, already knowing he would be staying over anyway. When Frank stood in the small bathroom right next to the kitchen, Mikey knocked on the bathroom door, "I forgot to warn you earlier, but my brother is here, so if you hear any noises, don't freak out and call the cops."  
Frank was speechless for a second, "Your brother? Gerard?" He hadn't seen Gerard in about 16 (or was it 17?) years. You would have thought Frank had forgotten the greasy basement dweller after all these years, but Frank could never forget Gerard.

"No, my twin sister, Bob. Yes, of course it's Gerard." Even though Frank and Jamia were a thing back in high school, it didn't mean he didn't have a small crush on Gerard Way, Mikey Way's older, cooler and interesting big brother. Gerard was a few years older, so Frank didn't get to see him in class. Gerard hung out with this extremely cool punk-rock group, so Frank didn't see him much during lunch or recess either. The only times Frank actually saw Gerard was in the school hallways and a few times when he was hanging out at Mikey's house, and Gerard would sometimes come out of his bat cave to grab a can of diet coke, and maybe play a game of whatever video game Frank and Mikey were playing.

"He's just visiting, y'know, 'cuz our parents died? I think he's scared I'll get rid of the house or something and is trying to spend as much time as possible here before that's gone too. As if that'll happen anytime soon."

Frank understood and after he was done getting ready for bed, he lurked back in to the living room with hunched shoulders and jumped down on the couch, wrapping the thin granny square blanket that was right next to him around himself, ready to fall asleep. But Frank found it hard to sleep, there was just too much on his mind right now and he couldn't calm them down for long enough for sleep to temporarily put him out of his misery. He was just going to go get a glass of water, but that ended with him sitting by the small kitchen table that was against the wall, crouched over the hard, light wood, sobbing into his wrapped arms. It had been done so hastily and abruptly, he didn't realize what he was doing until his clothed arms were already completely soaked. He didn't know what had come over him, he just suddenly broke down. He thought everything was fine for tonight, having Mikey there and calming down. He was obviously wrong, as everything came crashing down on him. He had a sinking feeling that it was the reminder of Gerard existing that brought shit back. What if he had ended up with Gerard instead? Would he be where he was now, sobbing in the middle of the night in Mikey Way's kitchen or would he be in a roomy apartment in New York, or maybe even California, snuggled into Gerard's side? He didn't want to think about it, but he still did, he couldn't help himself. He wondered why he ended up like this, what he had done wrong. He wasn't complaining, he had two kids that he loved incredibly much, two beautiful kids that refused to talk to him, who hated him-

"Frank?"

Frank ignored it, his mind telling him it was just something he was imagining.

"Frankie?"

The hand on his shoulder felt very real, and Frank shot up in surprise, panic churning in his stomach. He quickly turned around to face the second to last face he wanted to see. "Oh my god," Frank whispered, suddenly feeling embarrassed and blushing, wiping the tears away from his face, not wanting Gerard to see, "I am so sorry, fuck-"

"Why are you apologizing?" Gerard asked, taking a seat next to Frank. He noticed that Gerard hadn't changed much. Frank would have found it funny that a 38 year old man still dyed his hair black, but he couldn't focus on that right now.

"I don't know I'm just... It's all I know how to say these day; sorry, sorry, I'm sorry." Frank sighed and laid his head back in his palms, lacing his fingers into his long, matted hair. He was so vulnerable and embarrassed right now, nobody enjoys crying while there is another person there, especially not when it's a person you haven't seen in 16 years, a stranger essentially. It was just a mess and Frank now regretted leaving the couch in the first place. If he had just stayed there, staring up at the wooden ceiling, wallowing in toxic thoughts, everything would have been fine and this wouldn't have happened.

"I was just up drawing and shit, and I was hearing noises from upstairs so I was gonna turn on some music, but... I thought I'd come up and check on you." Frank didn't reply, "Mikey told me what had happened."

Frank looked back at Gerard, finally controlling his breathing, "how much?" He whispered, squinting his eyes.

Gerard was silent for a moment, "everything." He whispered back. Frank let out a long breath. He was offended and felt betrayed by Mikey. How could Mikey expose Frank's private life like that, and especially when he knew the feelings Frank had held in regards to his brother? What other intimate details had he told Gerard? It made Frank feel weird knowing that Gerard knew everything about him, yet he knew nothing about Gerard.

"It's okay, I understand." Gerard placed his hand on Frank's shoulder.

"How?" He couldn't possibly understand how Gerard knew how he felt.

"Well, I can't say I fully know how you feel, but... When I moved to New York I met this amazing woman. I thought I loved her, but I realized I was just trying to hide who I really am."

Frank was confused.

"I... I am gay. I don't even know... Like, I think I always knew. I mean, I went to art school for fuck's sake." Gerard laughed awkwardly, and there was a pause in their conversation for a while. Frank had to admit that he didn't think Gerard's situation could be compared to Frank's at all, but whatever. He knew Gerard was just trying to make Frank feel better, not that it had any effect.

"I just want it all to be over," Frank sniffled, "like a magic spell."

Gerard started stroking Frank's shoulder in a totally hetero way, "I think that when a relationship is breaking, it's better to tear it all down yourself, before you can build it up. You can't build up a building that's already falling apart."

Frank felt like the weird metaphor kind of made sense in some crazy way, "So you're saying that... Jamia and I need to talk it out and then we'll be back together?"

A loud huff left Gerard's mouth and he shook his head, "fuck no! That woman better stay out of your life. I'm talking about your kids. They still love you, even if they say they hate you, but they're just children, they don't know any better."

When Frank just sighed, rubbing his face, Gerard hugged him, "I believe in you dude. You just need to create contact, and there needs to be trust." When Gerard pulled away, Frank noticed that he didn't pull back all the way. They were really close now. The look in Gerard eyes almost had Frank stuttering out the truth, that even if had been decades since their last meeting, his teeny tiny high school crush still hasn't faded, but the opposite. Frank wanted to kiss him, but he knew that this would be the worst timing ever in the history of bad timings. And even though Gerard was gay, it didn't mean he liked Frank in that way. All Frank was to Gerard was that man who happened to be his baby brother's best friend that he could vaguely remember from before art school. He felt kinda lost, but Frank knew he wanted to kiss Gerard. So he did. It was the only thing right now he knew how to do. At first nothing happened. Frank just kept his lips on Gerard's, waiting for him to react. When the older man still hadn't made a move, Frank made a small move with his lips, and that seemed to wake Gerard up. Soon enough, they were making out, neither of them sure about what it meant. A few minutes later stroking body parts and grabbing hair, their lips left each other. In between their pants and gasps for air, Frank said, "God... Shit, I'm sorry. I've liked you for so long I just had to-"  
"Shut the hell up, Frank." Gerard growled and grabbed the back of Frank's and bringing them together.

And maybe Frank could finally start making his life better, with his own bare hands and a broken building. With Gerard's help of course.


End file.
